People ask me all the time, “How did you get into doing henna?” And “Is it because you married into Indian culture?”. The answer to that last question is both “yes and no”. The marriage part was just my introduction to the art itself and the cultural excuse that I used to hide behind.
Here’s my story:
Nobody’s healing journey is a straight upward arrow, and I’m no different. Before working my way into becoming a professional henna artist, I earned a Master’s degree and worked as a Pediatric Speech Pathologist. And although parts of working with children with communication disorders were very rewarding, it was hard for me because there wasn’t much space for creativity. After years of practice in different environments, it all felt very mechanical and I became unfulfiled but I did it anyway because..….life responsibilities. When my kids were born, I stayed home with them until they were old enough to go to school. As life took an unpredictable turn and I ended up needing to homeschool my kids and did so for 7 years. In those years, to keep myself sane, I began exploring art mediums. I painted and doodled as a way to relax and give myself some “me time” Art was all very play-like with no rules and I loved it! Art practices felt healing and it slowly began waking me up to welcome my own creativity.
I painted, woodworked and drew repetitive henna-like designs on canvases, coffee cups and even my bathroom walls. Eventually I tried buying some henna and found it very frustrating to work with. It wasn’t as easy as I hoped it would be. Since I married into Indian culture, there were always occasions for me to wear henna so I didn’t need to learn how to do it well.
Aside from loving the way henna looked, I always loved the way henna made me feel. Henna gives off this empowering, bold, badassery feeling to whoever chooses to wear it. I often wanted to wear it more and more to hold onto that feeling that was hard for me to put into words. I felt a need to wear it beyond cultural occasions and so I did.
I noticed that when I would wear henna that I would get a lot of head turns, attention and questions about it in public. I started to notice the uncomfortable feeling that I had with strangers coming up to me, touching and holding my hands, grabbing my arm as I walked by, bending down and rubbing my leg and giving me compliments and starting up awkward conversations with me. Of course it was all innocent and curiosity driven but I was uncomfortable AF. It was in those moments that I realized that I didn’t want that type of attention that henna brought. The outside physical and verbal attention brought me feelings of anxiousness and I hated it. So I stopped wearing it- for years. As these years passed, and I was working with a therapist, she helped me to figure out that my anxious trigger was an unhealed fear-based, reaction to being touched without permission from childhood sexual traumas.
She also made me understand that I used henna as a catalyst in my healing negative body image stemming from the abuse. Over the years, henna taught me how to learn to be with the attention that came along with it while learning how to set boundaries with people wanting to touch me (while I was wearing henna) without permission. Henna body art helped me grow and nurture myself so that I could mother myself into more wholeness and pop the top of my untapped creative potential. In time, I began to create with ease and have appreciation for my own body. It became clear that I knew I wanted to use henna as a source of healing and nurturing sourse for other women.
Most people that I come in contact with learn about henna from a friend/co-worker with ties to South Asian or Middle Eastern culture. Today, in eastern cultures it’s worn mostly for specific celebratory occasions. But even in henna’s rich history, it was used as a means of healing and blessings before anything else. To me, henna is healing, therapeutic and yes it’s magical! It helps women especially connect to their bodies. It can be a spiritual experience and a way to nurture ourselves. Henna is versatile and can just be worn because you want to feel pretty and feminine for no reason at all. But most of all, to me, it is a celebration of self and my personal homecoming.
I love talking about henna and educating people about what it is and what it isn’t and allow them to decide for themselves if they wish to wear it. But most importantly, I do want to normalize wearing henna as another way to nurture and connect to our bodies. I asked for this healing. It was given and I’m forever grateful.
If you have a specific way that you nurture your body, I’ll to hear about it in the comments.
Much love,
XX,
Christine